How do you know you’ve found the one? -

 7 things my husband has taught me in our 7 years of being married!

Seven years ago today, 

My husband and I vowed a lifetime of love and happiness to one another on our wedding day. As I think back to that special time, it was an amazing day. Our friends and family joined us in celebration of our union and the day couldn’t have been more perfect. 

It’s crazy thinking back to that day and then fast forwarding to now...

It seems as though it happened just yesterday and it all went by so fast.

But at the same time...
                                       7 Years is a long time to spend with someone. 

One of my favorite memories of our wedding day was the first dance we shared as husband and wife. The song we chose was Brad Paisley's, “I Thought I Loved You Then.” That song was a perfect choice for us because every time we think about how much we love the other, something new happens that makes us love each other even more. Every time I hear that song even to this day, my mind is flooded with sweet, wonderful memories of a love that continues to grow stronger. Of course as any marriage or relationship, we too have had our downfalls and not so happy moments...but even those moments help make our bond stronger and teach us valuable lessons. 

In today’s world, marriage isn’t the thing everyone wants to do. To be honest marriage for some people is something that ties you down and keeps you from living your best life. For others it’s simply a contract, a piece of paper, nothing more. And sadly for many...marriages don’t last for various reasons. 

While you never know what tomorrow may bring, my husband and I are banking on “forever” for us. We have stated: 

• that divorce is not an option   
• choose to allow God at the forefront of our marriage and
• We also try to remember to always be team players and remember that we are on the same team, not against each other. 

But before you ever reach the point we are in...7 years married, 10 years all together...how do you know you’ve found the right guy? How do you know when you’ve found the one? 

I’ve compiled a list of 7 things that let you know your guy is Mr. right! 

1. He’s honest. And by honest I mean even brutally honest some times.  You ask him if those jeans make you look fat? Have you gained weight? Does this outfit look good? Is it okay if I just wear concealer? 

First of all...the poor guy probably doesn’t know how to answer some of these in regards to fashion and makeup, so the fact that he tries to is worth some props. Typically you expect a guy to tell you what you want to hear. Even though we women ask "very straight forward questions"...(sarcasm) we don’t always want the answer he gives but rather the answer we’ve already formed in our minds for him to give. Poor guy! Well the one thing I learned quickly about my husband is that he isn’t going to sugar coat anything and he is as honest as the sky is blue. 

His answers to the questions above would be as follows: 

• Those jeans are a little tight. 
• Yes you have gained some weight, we both have.
•  I don’t like it but I’m not a woman and I don’t know what y’all women wear or think looks good. Do you like it? 
• What is concealer? I guess, you look pretty regardless. 

Now I am a woman. So of course I am immediately feeling attacked by some of these responses and find a way to turn these responses around...but when I truly think about it...all I want is honesty. Even if it hurts. Honesty is always the best policy. I appreciate that my husband isn't afraid to hurt my feelings (not that he intends to hurt my feelings, but truth hurts sometimes). Instead he is going to give me the truth and answer the questions I've asked. If he will be honest about all the little, silly questions. He is more likely to be honest about the big stuff as well. 

         2. He is loyal. Not just to you either...to his mom, grandmother, friend, uncle, boss, guy on the street, pastor, random person. When he gives someone his word, he keeps it and does whatever he said he would do...NO MATTER WHAT! 

I am not going to lie to you. Sometimes this is a bit frustrating when communication is lacking and he has told someone he would do something but fails to mention it to me so that we can plan accordingly...but the fact that it matters to him to keep his word to anyone and everyone matters to me. I fully support him with that. Not to mention, it tells me that if he is loyal to everyone, he will be loyal to me. Loyalty and Honesty two of the biggest and most valuable traits one can possess. 

     3. He is a goal oriented, dreamer. I have always been a goal minded person. I like to set attainable goals for myself and write them down and refer back to them regularly. Some are harder than others to meet and some take me a while to achieve, but I do set goals. When I met my husband and found that he too had big plans, goals, and dreams it was needless to say a major attraction. The only difference in his goals and mine however, was that his goals, dreams, plans, aspirations....were BIG. It did intimidate me a little bit at first, but it also motivated me to aspire for big things as well. 

The fact that my husband wanted better for himself inspired me to want the same. I will admit, at the end of high school and the early start of college...I had become lazy and weak minded. I was settling and was not focused on my potential. But at that same time, my future husband came into my life and his ambitions became my ambitions and my ambitions, his. Together we have achieved a lot and helped one another along the way! The beautiful thing about meeting someone with big dreams and goals is that it will help you become the person you are supposed to be, while also inspiring you as well. It gives you both things to work toward and if it's meant to be...those achievements will bring you both closer together. 

     4. He is patient. "Better a patient person than a warrior. One with self-control than one who takes a city." -Prov. 16:32

My husband is a very patient man. I know this...because I am a hard to deal with person. I am still alive. So he is definitely patient. Patience is important. Just like the verse above reads, patience is self-control. A person with self control is not going to bring harm to you or themselves. They are going to be able to make decisions and deal with challenges without being overly dramatic or hasty. I love this about my husband especially when he has to deal with me and my mood swings, outbursts, and wild thinking. A lot of times I feel like I am a complete mess. But then I talk with him and his patient demeanor immediately gives me peace. He is the calm to my storm. A healthy, successful marriage needs a patient, self-controlled man. 

       5. He is a worker. He isn't lazy! I know Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson claims to be the hardest worker in the room. But I am positive my husband could give him a run for his money. 

Ever since I met my husband he has always been a worker. When we met; he worked 3rd shift, would get off and go workout at the gym, go home and sleep for maybe 4-6 hours, and then get up and go to his evening college classes. Now, he is still at the same place of employment he has been at for almost 13 years. He has successfully moved up and now works a first shift salary position. He also has an associate's degree and a bachelor's degree both in business. Is currently working on his master's degree. He is a full time husband and now a dad. When he isn't busy with all of these things he is piddling in something around the house, working on his music, or finding something to get into. Find someone who isn't afraid of hard work. A hard working husband is going to make sure to provide for you and help you build a life together. 

     6. He knows how to have fun. Numbers 1-5 are great traits and qualities to possess, but are also very serious. Life isn't always easy and those bright skies can quickly turn dark...finding someone who can make you laugh when you want to cry is just as important. 

I love my goofy husband. He is always making me laugh. He knows when to be serious, but also knows how to be silly and I love that about him. Even when I am having a hard day or I am just in one of those moods, he knows how to put a smile on my face. Another thing he loves to do is pick and push my buttons. As annoying as this can get at times...I honestly enjoy the attention and smiles/laughs his picking brings. (After. The. Fact.) So make sure to find someone with a sense of humor, who makes life fun, and keeps you laughing.

 "Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life." -Bizwaremagic's Funny Quotes

         7. He loves unconditionally and forgives easily. When I met my husband, I unfortunately had a lot of baggage. I had emotional scars, tough experiences, and a past that I thought made me unlovable. I shared everything with my future husband. I wanted zero secrets between us and felt the need to be an open book with him. He accepted me as I was and decided to build a life with me regardless of how I felt about myself. 

He has helped me learn to move past negative circumstances, negative people who contributed to those negative moments, and how to learn from all of it. My husband's childhood was not a glamorous one. He came from literally nothing and even wrote a song about it. But despite all the failures that were stacked up against him that destined him to fall into the same trap...he found a way out. Looking at him, you would never believe the life he came from. But what is even more unbelievable to me, is that he holds zero grudges. He blames no one for anything, not even the scary stuff he endured as a young child. He continues to love all of his family and friends who he believes shaped him into the successful man he is today. He chooses to give them credit rather than condemnation. He chooses acceptance rather than blame. He chooses forgiveness and love rather than grudges and hatred. He has taught me how to love deeply and unconditionally. Even when we fight and when I am wrong...he is quick to forgive and move on. Someone who can live like that is worth living with and cherishing. I am blessed to have such a loving and forgiving man to call my husband. 

7 years isn't 17 or 27...but for us it is a long time, at this stage in our lives. We are not perfect nor do we profess to be. We make mistakes, have many failures, and are constantly working to improve ourselves and our marriage daily. To be honest, that's what a successful marriage, or relationship of any kind for that matter, entails. Hard work. Dedication. and the possession of the 7 traits I mentioned above are helpful. 

Happy 7 years to the love of my life. I dedicate this blog to you. Thank you for being you and for loving me and our daughter.

"I thought I loved you then..." 

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, and share! Stay tuned for my next blog. 

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